Please send me more of these memes, I need to see literally every single one of them
submitted by @artistic-cyber-cat
submitted by @zeddspectrial
submitted by @goodwiththechicken
submitted by @fedora-master96
this meme is officially called Fantasy Painting Object Labeling, thanks for that @eddrian32!
I love these so much
In medieval culture, an event like a royal christening is not a private party; it’s the public social event of the year. To not invite any person of rank to such an event is a deadly insult.
Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.
Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.
And yeah, if the King and Queen had done the properly respectful thing and invited her, Maleficent would have given Aurora a scary awesome present. Moreover so would the other fairies, because at that point both sides would be using it as an opportunity to show off and one-up each other. What they gave her before Maleficent showed up was basically just trivial party favors by fairy standards.
How do you know so much about the social dynamics of medieval fairies
Because the very first things anyone reading a legit fairy tale will realize right away is
A) there are Rules and
B) ignore them at your peril
…okay, now I just want to see baby Aurora being told by Maleficent that she will be a conqueror and a ruler without peer, the master of all Europe, to whom kings and emperors bow and scrape.
ahhhhhh i need
Sleeping Beauty AU with warrior queen Aurora leading her armies across the country to glory and victory
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
“Not only will you be a powerful ruler,” the next fairy after Maleficent steps up, “You will be just, honorable, and skilled, respected by friend and foe alike. What you take you will keep, and you will be remembered kindly by history.”
“Furthermore,” the second fairy steps up, “Any land you rule will prosper. Under your hand the people will thrive, the crops will flourish, and the stock be in good health. There will be wealth enough for all, with enough left for generosity.”
With this, all eyes turned to the third fairy, wondering what gift she would offer, what favour could be grand enough to follow these wonderous blessings of power, strength, and prosperity. Slowly, the third fairy approached the bassinet, standing before it a moment in contemplation, before finally speaking.
“All dogs with be your friends. Even the wild ones. Wolves too. If it’s a canine, it’s your friend now, yet they will never jump on you, make you smell weird, or get you all covered in fur.”
“Show off,” muttered Maleficent under her breath.
A reminder that turning in assignments for partial credit is better than not turning them in at all. It is. Even if you think you’ve done a bad job and are ashamed of your work, or it’s way overdue, you take whatever you can get. Partial credit dramatically improves your grade over a zero, and I’m always astounded by how often even the smartest kids don’t really comprehend that. 60% is worlds better than 0%. Even 10% is going to help you. Letter grades are misleading and are not created equal. “F"s are mathematically valuable. Turn that late assignment in.
This goes for so many things in life tbh.
Can’t pay the full amount you owe on a bill? Pay as much as you can each month. Most places just wanna know you’re making a good faith effort. You can usually even call and ask for a smaller minimum monthly payment plan until you catch up, so that maybe you won’t be getting late fees added on to your balance. It’s worth calling to see.
Third time you’ve had to reschedule that doctor’s appointment? Oh well. Your doc probably just wants to make sure you make it in to their office at all. Keep trying.
Half-assing is always better than no-assing folks. I know lots of us are anxiety-ridden perfectionists and it feels like if we can’t do everything exactly right on the first try we just shouldn’t bother. But that’s not true.
My mom likes to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly” to emphasize that it’s okay to enjoy doing things even if you’re not good at them. The point is doing them. Make that shitty art project that makes you happy. Learn that new skill even if you suck at it at first. Make it to under half of the events of that club or organization you want to be a part of but can’t fully commit to. It’s okay. You don’t have to do it perfectly to do it at all.
anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
God i wish someone told me this in middle school
A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.
This is the greatest two seconds of my day.
this is the greatest two seconds the world will ever see
dreamfaerye
size10plz
I’m the one who said you left ya jacket in my car
This is a group of friends who know youre dating a bad dude so are willing to drop everything and lie if it means protecting you, not remotely “oh haha its because u cheatin”
And clearly they’re not far off the mark if he’s going through her phone and doing these kinds of “tests” to uncover and instigate shit
If I get a text from any of my girls like this I’m saying yes. If she’s having to lie to her man I’m immediately assuming it’s cause he’s being crazy, not cause she’s cheating.
